The Chronicles of Mimi

Trapped in the Closet: Literally.

2010-04-26T16:26:00.001-07:00

And now...a tale.

This story begins like any other story. It begins a small town on a quiet Sunday evening. The sun has already set and the warm glow from the small dwellings of the villagers lights up the streets on this dark rainy evening. This is where we find our main character, who we shall call, "Meeshee", for the sake of sparing identities.

Now on this cold raining evening, Meeshee was just getting ready for a good nights rest before a hectic and crazy Monday. She was tired after having spent the entire weekend sweeping and cleaning, and scrubbing floors like Cinderella. Although unlike Cinderella, Meeshee did have a tendency to let her messes slide by. So, the task at hand had taken her an exceptionally long time, having to unpack from various travels and scrub her clothes. But, this is not stop Meeshee, she had seen the project through from start to finish, which is where we find her now.

Ah, yes. Meeshee had just hung her last garment, and carefully laid out her attire for the following day. She then headed into her closet to change from the drab clothes of the day, into a pair of fresh pajamas. It was at that exact moment that Meeshee found herself an unsuspecting victim of the lack of tensile strength in plastic.

In the flash of an eye, Meeshee's entire wardrobe apparatus fell upon her. In a catastrophe that rivaled the Great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906, Meeshee managed to emerge the rumble unscathed. Immediately, the alarm was set off, and cries for help were quickly heard. A rescue crew was quickly on site, and eradicated the victim.

Yes, 'twas a shocking tale indeed. A poor a girl, who's good deeds were punished. And while the cost of damages is still unknown, the lesson remains clear. Don't clean your room.

Essence of Munn

2010-02-15T16:38:00.000-08:00

Joe Munn,

How do I discribe thee.... let me count the ways.

They say a picture is word a thousand words... So, I'll do you one better.. here's a thousand and one.

Your swarthy giant leprechaun looks make me jump on one leg every time I hear a closet door slam. Your voice sings like a morning song bird, fluttering gracefully in a prairie meadow in on cool spring day every time you rejoice for your favorite man-on-man tackling sporting even, much like the seductive overtures of a baritone crooning over a gramophone to order their favorite Ranalli's carry out or Hooter's hot wings, which some might think as a reflection of easy virtue. In which case, I will do my best to reprove myself and make any aberations infrequent. Then again, all this is just a bunch of folderol. A miscellaneous collection of words, in which I am conveying in a most special parlance, making it difficult to decipher the essence of this fop. Perhaps Joe's atavistic nature will alleviate him from such troubles and instead he will give into his instiable appetite for bacchanalian revelry. Ah, with Joe many a revel I witnessed and in some, partook. For Mr. Munn has a panache for the amalgamation of a libation. His award winning methods are quite laudable. Yes, the adulations of Munn continues ad infinitum. Well... until it reaches an ad hoc. It seems that describing this flim-flam with more than one accoutrement is a bit of a challenge. Thus, leaving me with this final thought, one that will resonate throughout all of time, no-reverberate. No-make that a riff, a rocking guitar riff. I shall conclude this rudimentary prose with less than twenty percent of the promised praise and this final phrase: Joe Munn is a bad ass m.c. and Bears enthusiast.

It's Friday

2010-02-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

Everyone's always happy it's Friday...except fish.

There is a Mouse in my House

2009-07-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

Dear mouse in my house,

I just wanted to let you know that, while I’m extremely flattered you’ve decided to take up residency in my house, I think we need to discuss these living arrangements. First of all, you moved in without even telling me and my roommates. I understand you thought we would be mad, and not let you move in- if you had told us in advance, and this is true. I guess, however, you officially have squatter’s rights now.

I know the economy has been hard on us all and having roommates is a great way to save money- but we need to come to an understanding. If you are going to be staying with us, a few things need to change.

First of all- you need to pay us some rent, or at least something for utilities. It not fair to the other roommates. Secondly, you need to not be eating everyone’s food. We clearly label our food by our initials- please do not confuse M for mouse, instead of Michelle. You can just leave a paw print- better yet, keep your food outside.

In addition, the floor is not a restroom, please clean up after yourself, we are trying to get ready to move, and we can’t have droppings everywhere.

Lastly, I know you’ve been lonely lately, but please knock before entering- we are very stressed lately, and surprise entrances are not always welcome.

I hope that we can come to mutual understanding about this, and this does not damage our friendship.

Cordially,

Mimi

Dear Old Man Crossing the Street....

2009-07-03T12:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Old man crossing the street,

Old man crossing the street. I’m stopping my car… not even taking another beat. I see your feet; hit the pavement like Godzilla in Tokyo. I think that I could, but I decide I won’t go.

With your sock pulled up high, your veiny legs you still can not hide. Your back hunched over like Quasimodo in Norte Dame, your walker keeps you up like life support, tennis balls at the bottom- dogs think it’s a game.

Don’t worry old man, take your time. I know what it’s like, I understand your pain. I’ll be patient as you cross the street to the one of another name.

As your orthopedics shuffle before lamely, that’s when it hits me- and your life flashes before me.

Were you young once old man? Quick and nimble, dancing like Gene Kelly? Throwing ladies high in the sky as you jittered and jived?

Or were you the shy guy who dreamed of sending man to the moon? The one who invented rockets and space food. and then got laid off at IBM when younger generations swooped in and flashed their pearly gems.

Did you have a great love, the kind people see in movies? shared your first dance and hot summers at the pool? Then marriage right after high school?

Or are you bitter and sad because no one ever loved this lad?

I bet your didn’t think your life would end up like this, so lonely and sad before death’s sweet kiss. I sigh as I hold back a few tears, what will become of my next few years?

I release the brake determined to move forward and onward, to life my life to the fullest in the name of that old man. Yes, that's what I'll do, I won't let you down.

I hear and thump and bump and I look in my rear view mirror. The man’s on the ground,.. Wow, this wasn’t his year, and I drive on as I shed one last tear.

The Unwelcome Vistor

2009-04-19T19:16:00.001-07:00

Mondays- nobody likes them, especially me. This Monday was no different.

I had been extremely tired from a busy weekend, and when my cell phone alarm went off that Monday morning it was a bit harder to wake up. I usually let my alarm go off for an average of 30 minutes,.. until I get up. I think I hit snooze for about an hour this morning. A bit above average. I reluctantly got out of bed, quickly showered and got ready for work. Luckily my commute is fairly reasonable, it usually only takes me 15-20 minutes to get to work.

Ahhh.. work. Needless to say, it was one of those days, where everyone needed everything yesterday. So as I sat in my chair very stressed out, I was counting the minutes until I could go home and have a moments respite, and... continue working. Yes, I had to do a bit of work at home but, it is usually more relaxing when I can focus without the constant phone ringing and inbox cluttering.

Finally the quitting bell rang, and I ventured home. I usually don't partake in the consumption of wine after work- I always felt it was kinda weird to drink by myself. But today was definitely an exception to the rule. As I was having trouble removing the outer-wrapping, and that's when I saw Him. The unwelcome visitor...

I reached into our utensil drawer to retrieve a knife, and something caught my eye. At first glance I thought it was a leaf. I thought to myself, "why is there a leaf in our drawer?" So I went to brush it out and that's when the leaf was not a leaf, but a cockroach.

At the realization that I almost touched a cockroach, I immediately flipped out in my typical fashion. For those of you who know me, I'm very jumpy. So naturally I ran out the kitchen screaming bloody murder, and perched myself a top our banister, so that my body would not be in contact with the floor.

It was at this point my roommates seemed to noticed something was wrong,.. (I think the screaming gave it away.) Autumn and Stephanie both thought I was being a bit ridiculous, however, I disagree, for Hank was a very large creature. Being the brave one, Stephanie decided to try and kill Hank but she could not find him.

I was still super creeped that there was any type of bug in our house. I'm a non-bug person. I don't kill them- people kill them for me. I think that my already stressed body heightened my already unnatural fear of bugs, and I still have not had any wine.

Not wanting to leave my "safe zone"- Stephanie was nice enough to bring my wine to me. So in all my classiness, I went ahead and drank my wine straight up from the bottle, while sitting atop our banister - still feeling very shaky. (Caution: Mimi does not recommend 1- sitting on a banister, or 2- drinking alcohol while doing number 1. and 3- Hank, he will haunt your dreams) Always ask a parent or guardian before trying this at home).

While were still could not find Hank the Cockroach or any of his friends. The night was slightly rectified by getting Pizza Nova. and although they would not deliver to our apartment, Autumn and I successfully picked up our food without me locking my keys in my cars. (Yes- it happened last Dec). Thus concluding my Monday. We still have yet to find Hank- I will keep you posted.

Christmas 2007

2009-04-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

Friends, Family, and Furred Creatures,
Greetings and Salutations! Alas, the sweet smells of holly and pine is upon us once more as we set forth in motion the holiday chain of events. After a year of being “good” and a month of searching for parking spots at the local mall, we finally reach the day in which we wake up earlier than ever. Amongst, all of the good tidings and great cheer we have begun to ponder this previous year, and reflect back on what has happened in the two-thousand and seventh year of our Lord.
Rumor has it; Chuck Norris put extra locks on his door when four local Chicagoan’s received their Black Belts. Another headliner was Brent’s big move to chi-town, as he finishes up his degree at DePaul. He didn’t get far from the homestead as he moved less then a block from Michelle. Any future shenanigans will be dually noted. Michelle put her best foot forward in the working world this December as she (finally) graduated in Interior Design. She is now working full time at Ware Malcomb Architects. Although, its not civil engineering, she’ll be working on many of same projects as her Pop’s. Sherri is showing off her latest fashions on the locals as she’s still styling at Stein Mart. Finally, last but definitely not the least, Preston has perfected the art of the “Golden Child”. As the class president and a second degree blackbelt, he’s giving a young Chuck Norris a run for his money.
Luckily for you the format of this letter has minimal space for “bragging”. (Please see separate attachment of the accomplishments of the Cats…) On that note, the Jacob household wishes you a warm Christmas season, and a stress-free holiday filled with rainbows and smiles.
Happy Christmas,
Jeff, Sherri, Michelle, Brent, and Preston

Thanks & Give 2007

2009-04-06T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ahhh... the sweet smells of turkey carcasses are upon us once again as we set forth in motion the holiday season. As I ponder the past and reflect on the seasons previous, I have come to see how much hasn't changed. Except for this years Thankgiving Menu at the International House of Jacob. Thats' right people, Mash Potatoes and Gravy made their Thanksgiving debut this year! It was a huge step for those Taters,.. we took them off the bench and decided to let them be in the starting line up. and well.. you guessed it. They made us proud. Whether or not they will play next year is still up in the air. Another huge hit was the packers, as they lead Green Bay to a sweet sweet victory. One thing I did learned this year, and this is key- dont mix sudafed, Benadryl and Champange..... or you'll pass out mid-guitar Hero while playing "message in a bottle" on expert. then you'll wake up 3 hours later disoriented and tucked in your little brothers bed with a cat staring you down as you sleep off green bean casserole. Yes sir, Thanksgiving can be a dangerous holiday, and I trust you all celebrated with caution. Every year at least 5 people die from an O.D. on pumpkin pie...and those stats are rising. But I know you all know when your limit is, and that makes me proud to share my holiday's with ya'll. With that being said, I shall sign off as I have to attend an intense game of scategories, Then if i'm lucky Mexican Train Domino's. I shall bid you farwell....Yours Truly,Meems

OUCH!

2008-05-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

A warning to all: Don't forget the simple life lessons you learned in 5th grade. Shaving with a brand new razor can be a painful experience. Use Caution!

delusional daydreams

2008-05-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

Today, I stayed home from work.

I had been feeling ill since Sunday afternoon. I was at my parent's house to spend some quality family time with them. It was about 6:00 pm est when I first started to feel slightly off.

We went out to dinner at Go Roma. Delicious food. I got a splendid salad. After which we went to go see the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.

Having read the Chronicles of Narnia several times through out the history of my life I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Although, at times it did depart from the original book, in my eyes, it was necessary adaptation for the movie. Anyways, the entire time I felt ill during the movie. I couldn't even eat a piece of my free small popcorn. For those of you who know me, know I love me some popcorn.

The rest of the evening consisted of me thrashing about in my bed trying to get a moments respite. I ended up getting a poor nights rest. When I finally awoke I managed to get ready for work, but that's when my stomach began to worsen. I finally came to the conclusion that I may have some sort of bug. I had a fever and could not eat or drink anything.

Whenever you are home sick, you usually take the opportunity to catch up on some TV watching. So today, between my tossing and turning of delusional naps I was able to catch up on LOST, watch the history channel, and Ghostbusters 2.

I also enjoyed several tripy dreams that combined chronicles of Narnia, lost, and the ghostbusters, mixing in several of my own experiences. I had several of those dreams that feel like you are awake, only to then actually wake up in a cold feverish sweat.

All my sleeping and resting hopefully paid off. I am feeling 75% better. I was able to have a bowl of soup for supper and several glasses of water.

That being said, it is late and I need more sleep.

21

2008-05-17T19:32:00.000-07:00

21 years... of Brent.

0 - Brent emerges from my mothers womb.

1 - Takes a bath, poops, eats, sleep.

2 - tries to find Christmas in a grocery store.

3 - gets kicked out of preschool

4 - wears blue mickey mouse sunglasses without lens

5 - best friend is named "gron"

6 - lost a tooth

7 - played with Lego's, beats up Preston.

8 - auditioned for beaver in the "leave it to beaver" movie

9,10,11, 12 - thoroughly annoyed me as a younger brother

13 - was orphan boy in play

14 - would spy on me and my friends

15- gets permit, should not be driving

16- fails first drivers test

17- transfers from WN to WA

18-attempts the collegiate world

19-is a world of war craft junky

20-moves to Chicago

21- purchases first alcohol's legally

Oh, the Humanity!

2008-05-16T16:21:00.001-07:00

Broker Boxing 2008. What an event.

Last night, I attended Broker Boxing. For those of you who don't know, this is an industry even, in which architects, brokers, developers, etc... all turn out for an amateur boxing event. This evening consist of sweat men punching each other in the face. The night was full of excitement, men in suits and liquor. Being, that I was one of the only females in attendance (besides the "ring girls") I felt violated with creepy old men eyes multiple times. (-boys you loose all tact when highly intoxicated, just a tip).

ROUND 1

The first was,... OK. The excitement had been built up and the crowd was going wild. We even had a guest celebrating in the ring - mini-me. (Which I soon found out later it wasn't actually him, but I continued to pretend it was). The disappointment in the first round was when the guy with the blue gloves got knocked-out quicker than you could take a pee. One might think a Knock-out would be cool to watch, but it was actually kinda pathetic. I felt really bad for the guys because he look out of shape.

ROUND 2

Who cares? I was at the bar with Lisa and Sharon.. and we were on the hunt for non-meat food items...

ROUND 3

Girl FIGHT!!! 2 girls boxed it out! I have to give them props for going through with it. I was a bit embarrassed for them as they had to open with this stupid fake fight scene and jump over the balcony. Being a former martial artist myself, I know how annoying it can be to do a live "fake fight" its just stupid.

Anyways, it was surprisingly a great fight! lots of action! The loser could really take a hit like a pro too. She just keep receiving punches to the face. I had to hand it to her,.. and then wonder if I could take out the other girl.. maybe next year.

The rest of the evening consisted of me and my co-workers having a grand old time and goofing off with the larger than life pictures of the boxers. We successfully managed to snag one name "Michael Bennet", who works at our New Jersey.

Post Boxing

I arrived home at 1531 in the grandest of moods. I visited the boys upstairs; roche, dan, and z. We discussed highly intelligent things and I invented a clever game, "Pretzel Stick". This game requires peanut butter pretzels, a drumstick, and lots of space. Take the pretzel and hit with the stick. To make the game harder, try in darkness.

Anyways. must work out.. Brents 21st is tonight. Its bound to be blog worth.

The Tale of Lost Talents

2008-05-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

'tis a sad day... rain drops slowly drip down the window panes. The apartment of which I shall be leaving in 29 days gets wet and I cry a bit inside as I believe I have lost one of my many talents.

This talent being the gift of parallel parking. What started off as wonderful and glorious afternoon, soon turned into a horrific experience. I had just arrived home to 1531, to find the most superb parking spot directly in front of my apartment. I happily decided to take such a grand spot and began to park. To my avail I realized that I could not park in such said parking spot. Nay, it was not do to lack of space, rather lack of talent.

After multiple attempts and as spectators began to arrive, I finally had to admit defeat. I pulled off of the sidewalk and proceeded to a larger, less optimal parking space. Thus, began my second attempt to park and be on my merry way. At this point in time my embarrassment level was at a unusual high. One of my less-known neighbors decided to remove herself from her bike and stand on the steps of her porch to watch me park. Her bleacher-like spectator position made me feel even more of a spectacle. This heightened the experience and was not effective in overcoming my adversity. As I tried to straighten out my car multiple times while hitting the curb, I eventually admitted defeat, in hopes that no one drives drunk down our street tonight.

So there I conclude my story. The moral you ask? Well, if at first you don't succeed, find a better spot, and if that still doesn't work, well, then you are s.o.l.